I only got two days remaining in the dialysis unit. People are asking me when I will get transferred in the 3rd floor. I'm not really sure what's on their mind. Whether they are excited or really saddened by my departure.
Regardless of the their ulterior motives, I appreciate their words. Some are not sincere but few are really are.I can sense it. I intentionally act like things are gonna be ok for me, though deep inside I'm not intact and shattered . But I'm getting used to this kind of feeling and my mind tend to learn to resist worry and depression just to cope in.
So I'm gonna be transferred from the most comfortable area to the busiest section of the hospital aka 3rd floor. I choose to be excited.
Before I got in the hospital I prepared myself for the worst but fortunately God has been good to me and he put me in the most relaxed department- the Dialysis unit. I've been there for 4 months and I'm having a great time. Though one moment I questioned myself whether I really belong there and there was a time I lost the fire and just want to quit.
Now, that I'm gonna leave the unit, I feel divided. One half wants to stay and other is extremely excited of leaving and exploring the outside. Probably 40/60. It's a good thing I think that the greater part of me wants to go out. Cause I really want to learn more other than dialysis.
Now, as the end comes near, I feel appreciated. I hear good words and they are sort of comforting. Words from sincere people really goes straight to the heart. They said I'm good; I deserve to be there, to stay; I'm an asset; #1 on evaluation and other overwhelming words. I choose not take them by heart but I lifted them up to my creator. HE really guided me well.
Two more duties and I'm done with dialysis. I know STRESS is ahead of me but I'm still excited. I wanna figure out something. I wanna learn more medical stuffs. I wanna meet new people. I wanna be with my friends. I wanna conquer what was said to be impossible. I wanna prove something in behalf of the dialysis people. That people from there shouldn't be underestimated rather should be given the same respect like the other people outside.
With HIS help all things are possible.
