So what if it's my birthday..

Actually, I was planning to make an article about my birthday but because of something I missed everything. It's been 4 days ago and the memories of my not so special birth day is almost fading in my head.

I got few plastic girlfriends who invited me to go out and celebrate my birthday but obviously I don't want to spend my money on people I'm not comfortable with. So I texted my high school friend, Chona. She's been one of my closests and real friend ever. She's been with me through ups and down and I can tell that our friendship is really tested.

Though we were really close, she's not good with dates and she got no idea that day was actually my birthday. I don't have any plans of telling her it's my birthday. I can tell that it is not a big deal for me. SO what if it was?

I asked her to help me do something and we end up surfing the net while waiting for the thing I ordered. When I suggested that, I already thought of her seeing my birthday notification in facebook but I do not care. There's no other thing that we can do while waiting.

SO in the end she was informed via the fb notification (just what I thought ) and she surprised me by making a disappearing act and by the time she went back, she was carrying two small cakes with candles on. I was really touched, seriously. I don't remember anyone who did that to me. (Yeah, I'm miserable.)

If I were a boy

Have you ever wonder how would it be if you are living a life of your opposite sex? I bet that would be a very nice life.

Imma girl, and at times I hate to be one. Not that I'm saying that I wanted to cross the line between being a guy and gal cause it makes no sense, there'd be no physical change after all. I just thought being a guy is cool.

As I've observed from my siblings, my brothers' guy friends are more fun compare to my girlfriends. I think guys are more loyal and they really value friendships. They are true, their intentions and motives. Unlike girls, they got a lot of pretensions and are selfish. Not that I'm talking about myself, but I guess I've been like that, that's why I can tell.

I only had few boy friends before. Don't get me wrong I'm friendly but I got some personal dealing issues with men which I just learned to got over not so long ago. In fact, I got socialization issues. I'd rather stay at home in front of the computer than spend the day in the mall, walking and making myself tired. But that was years before, when I haven't gained that much confidence in myself.

I think guys has lesser issues when it comes to getting along with peers. You just have to be sporty, trendy and neat, bonus if smart to catch a hot girlfriend. But for girls, we had to invest on our body, personality and all the girly stuffs, it's a tedious task. I believe guys hate girls who are smarter than them. What can I do? I'm smarter than them and my aura tells them so.

I wish someone will be smarter than me and will accept me for who I'am. 

An awkward morning

This morning, while I was in the middle of a dream that I couldn't remember, I hear someone calling out my name outside. I went out as soon as I sense the urgency even before I clean my face from  any traces of over sleeping. Outside, I found my neighbor and a strange guy, he asked me to initiate an IV line to a dying patient who was discharge from the hospital 3 days ago. I blame my mom from telling stories about me about this incident. I hurried and prepare myself for the favor. I walked with my mom while I incessantly nag her about what happen.

We arrived in an unfinished house with no furniture except from an old bed where a dying patient lies. Her mom come over and told that if I didn't come she might have initiated the line. I asked her whether she is a nurse or something, she said no. Another person who thinks our job is that easy. The patient is suffering from renal failure and her family had spent almost all their resources just to get him well. Sadly, dialysis is the only procedure that will lengthen his life. The patient is too dehydrated that made it hard for me to initiate the line. It took me 3 attempts before I was able to get into his veins. I went home after I secured the line.

I felt weird after my mom had a confession after seeing the boy. She said she felt extremely sad and she pity the boy's physical condition that's why she hurriedly fled away. She couldn't stand to witness such scene. On the other hand, I felt nothing except from occasional hand tremors. Probably my mind was too preoccupied about the procedure I'm going to do that I had no time to feel sympathy for the boy. On my part, the boy doesn't need sympathy, he needs medical attention and that is what I'm giving him.

After that scene, I suddenly felt the urge to join an institution again and handle patients. I know it has been part of my system to help but I'm not certain whether what I'm doing is helping or proving something to myself.