When I started to open up

One thing I fear about relationship is being hurt and causing pain to someone who matters. I guess  that’s one of the risks when you open your heart to people. Too bad I haven’t master the skills on dealing about these stuffs. I must admit, I’m a toddler when it comes to this.

From I where I work, I’m very fortunate to meet new folks who I share the same interest with. They are different people with distinct attitude, personality, views, thoughts and opinions. Fortunately, one thing keeps us together and that is our profession—NURSING. Like anything else, it was a rough road at first but we manage to get through it and now we are understood each other better.

By this time, we are really close, I guess more than colleagues should be. Too bad this relationship should be tested and there we’ll find if this is for real. Unfortunately, I initiated the test, thanks to my blabber mouth.

So it goes like this, “SHE” said I said something to “HIM” that “HE” thought is suppose to be a secret between the two of them. “HE”’s gone mad when “HE” knew I know the secret and “HE” called “HER” and said rude things to “HER”. “HE” even asked our superior to rotate “HER” and probably me too to another  unit.

There was a time when I noticed that everyone is like treating me like I’m invisible. I thought there’s something wrong about me and I feel like I’m completely out of place. Never thought there’s something going on behind my back and I almost loose a good friend.

I think one of the best thing that happened to me this year is making an eccentric, fun and great friend. She confessed to me everything and I feel terrible that I had caused her one good potential friend. I never felt this way before. I was suppose to be insensitive to others’ situation even if I have an indirect fault but this time it’s different.

I guess one thing is true, I have opened up to this girl and I like her that I feel pain when she’s going through it.

Things are getting better

I said “things” with that I mean there are several things I should be thankful and happy these past few days. Rainy days are over and although there are puddles on the streets, I’ll get by with my white uniform.

Last time I check I’ll be celebrating my second month stay at the HD unit. Time passed so fast I didn’t notice I got over my anxiety induced nausea every time I think about my hospital duty. My relationship with the HD staff is better. There are still barrier but I can tell that things are a lot better than my first week. We are much comfortable with each other. I guess the turning point was when I attended the Nursing Services X-mas Party where I had to show my party-girl side (boys are really something!).

A month ago I was completely insecure with the girl with the long hair but like any trends, it changes. I’m not saying that I’m the new IT girl now but I’m   getting enough attention though I’m not really sure of the reason. Nonetheless I appreciate them all.

When it comes to duty I sort a master the routine except from cannulation and other technical stuffs. Cannulation depends on the patient (well at least that’s what my perspective) and others can be learned through experience, I’m open about learning them thoroughly.

By the way, someone gave me a tip that they are considering me to be the next trainee (seriously!? like I still don’t know what to do during emergency cases). The source was pretty reliable but I’m not buying. Although I’m really happy that they had seen and recognized my skills and potential even in a short period of time .

P.S. I have new friends now namely, Leah, Tin, Mark and Mike. I’m certain if Sir Don, Mar and Mike can be considered as friends but they seem to be nice to me.