Regression

I hate him so much. I really hate feeling this way. I’m the kind of person who easily forgets and move on. Absence would definitely make it easier but my thoughts of him torment me a lot. He’s not my type physically, but urgggghhhh! I hate him for making me feel this way. I regret the day that we’ve become close, I mean…really? Why did I let him get near me? He’s a flirt, yes. I guess this is all his fault.

It’s been a while that we become distant to each other because of duty schedules. I saw him yesterday and wala, all the pain was resurrected. I remember, diving in the pool because of too much jealousy. Now I know how it feels and it’s awful. Ever thought that you’d just like to be eaten by something big and just disappear?

I’m a strong woman and I don’t want to be beaten. Loosing is the most terrible thing that can happen to me. And I guess this time I lost and the pain get through my armor into my heart.

U wave

Hate to admit but I think things are beginning to fall apart now. Even if we don’t want to, conflicts occur. We are getting bigger and diverse. There have been major changes starting from the newbie days up to now. I can see how looks and family backgrounds affect our lives on friendship, attention and opportunities. I don’t have the looks, nor huge family assets; but one thing I know is that I got what it takes to be successful: FAITH IN GOD, HARDWORK and PATIENCE.

I hate sheen, I’m not a guy so I can’t see why they like her. I’m not insecure, she’s just a 2^nd rate attendant but what I hate about her is that she is a bitch. I’m not lowering myself to the point that I’m gonna flirt guys just to get their attention. I’ve been in the hospital and I heard that she went out for two hours without asking for permission. My friends and colleagues went loco looking for her. Now, who’s got a reputation? I felt bad for Edmar; before he’s the shining only toy, now, were did all his candies went?

I feel disappointed of what is happening in my zone right now. We were happy before and I wonder where did it all go. Glad to still have Ode on my side. At least we are enjoying ourselves and we got our own world going. 

The Vampire Boyfriend Mania

I just watched Vampire Diaries Season 2 episode 2 and I wonder what it feels like to have a super strong, super loyal, super cute vampire boyfriend; I guess that would be so cool. I never had a boyfriend before, I’m too scared for a relationship and I’m too insecure with my flaws. A perfectionist maybe but I really wanted to have someone to call my own. Too bad the unfortunate one hasn’t arrived yet or did I let him pass? No clue but I’ll wait, not in hurry anyways.

I hate watching tv series. Most often than not I get inspired with the series that I wanted to have a kind of situation similar with what the main character is experiencing; funny how I easily adapt their mannerism and attitude.  I guess that’s how I continuously alter my own attitude and personality.

On this episode of VD, I really like how Stefan showed his soft side despite all the commotion happening. I like how he treated Elena and how he helps Elena de-stressed. Guys with such an attitude only appear once in a blue moon, I just wish I can catch one, God please!

It’s my duty tomorrow and I’m gonna be with Nurse Wane. Good thing we are assigned in ER with two seniors. I’m oriented but I’m definitely not geared to be a mentor. I pray things will be ok tomorrow morning.