Going 24

I got nothing in particular to say. Things right now are just normal and I got nothing to complain about. Probably I got used to things now and I don't make issues such big deal. I want to be like this always. Peaceful mind in the midst of stress but that doesn't mean I want to be apathetic rather practicing composure and showing fake confidence which I think isn't a bad habit at all. 

Three days more and I'll be a year older. I might not be but I think I'm more mature than before. I got to give the credits to the people around me right now. They are really teaching me valuable stuffs at work and life, and these are priceless gifts to me. I can't thank God enough for giving such beautiful people.

NOW, I feel the urge of letting go of some of the old habits which are stopping me to grow. Giving my self more space for learning and enhancing the good things in me. This might be hard but it's part of life and everyone does, consciously, subconsciously and unconsciously. Got to list some:

Time management issues.

Prideful acts.

Doubtful thoughts.

Pretentious acts.

Unhealthy eating habits.

Unhygienic habits.

Blabber mouth and rumor habits.

Procrastination.

Punctuality.

Seriously, I got a lot to change but I'm ready for the challenge. Funny how I really wanted to make a New Year's resolution but I ended up making a 24th birthday plan. I guess this is much more perfect.

PS. Did I mention that I'm gonna spend my B-day renewing my license at PRC with tse tse my college buddy?so much for the trip!o.O

Not my ordinary Day

There are several reason my day concluded up GOOD.

I started my day going in late in the dialysis unit but I was able to cannulate Mr. Childs. I feel good cause I received less assistance and I was able to do the job fine. Though I really feel that I’m making someone hate me with all of the achievements I’m making in the unit.

I was extra active today. I was in and out the dialysis unit so I was able to see some familiar faces. First in the list was Klaudine, she is a former classmate. She’s really kind and I appreciate my chat with her.

Then, I went to the ICU to hand some papers with my senior and he let me inside the unit. It was a nice place and I feel like I wanted to work there. I saw Cath and she helped me get in the unit. So much for the broken doorbell.

Also, I heard the whole Don and Tin reconciliation story today and it was the best news I can ever hear. I love both of them and the last thing I wanted them to be is to be enemies. Things seem to be normal again in the unit and there is less tension which I really like. Don is starting to talk to me like a paranoid man, like always. I simply like my mentor just like that.

My day ended up with a former classmate screaming my name in the 3rd floor ward. I never expected he’ll remember my FULL name. It gave me a giddy feeling. Even though I know he has a girlfriend and he’s not really my type.

I think the one that completed my day was my Mentor requesting me to be transferred in his shift. I really like him being nice to me but the longer he makes those gestures, the deeper he gets into me and the harder  I can control the feeling I have for him.

I'm Don-e

I'm not really sure but I think this is the first time I created two post in a day. What else can I do? I guess I'm too inspired to do this.. or should I say I need to let this out badly. Crazy as it sounds, I easily fall for someone who's being nice to me, so much for intentionally misinterpreting people's behavior.

So the reason of my recent paranoia is a dialysis nurse who I considered to be my mentor. This guy has strong personality like there would be no chance of I, knocking him off in arguments. He's stubborn, bold and frank-- a complete of opposite of my attitude at least outside my comfort zone (at home). It's the kind of attitude I longed wanted to show people but I think I had no right to act that way. 

I admire him and his ways. He's caring and protective like a brother; opinionated like a politician; open-minded like a mentor, playful like a kid but firm on his stand. I haven't figure him yet completely. He's like a puzzle to me. Probably that's the reason I'm interested.

I wanted to know him more but it's like there's a barrier between us. I get weakened by his smile and I get giddy with his attention. Every time we get near to each other, I feel elated. He pushes me to do things I'm afraid of and trusts me on tasks I didn't know I'm capable. He gives me moral boost when I feel down and he points out my strengths that I'm not even aware of.

There are people who dislike him and I feel a slight pinch  when I hear them talk ill behind his back. He's just being real and I think there's a price to pay when you show people your real color. At first, I thought he's a people pleaser, but on the second thought I think not.

There's a part of me who feels jealous every time he's with his' girl friends. But I wanted him to be always happy. When he's happy I smile. When he's sad I feel burdened. When he's in trouble I feel bothered and concerned. I wish I can comfort him but I think he has many friends to do that.

Sometimes I think whether my phone number is saved on his phone. I would die just to see my name on his contacts. He's the source of my happiness right now and I never felt this giddy feeling for a long time. I know he has someone special right now and he is not seeing me the way I see him. I guess I have to endure this emotion until I get rotated and finally get over him.  

I feel sad cause I know our time together will soon end and I definitely won't let him know how he's special to me. No worries, this isn't the first time I let my feelings go unnoticed. 

I'm Don-E

What's up?

What's new? It's 2012 and it took me days before I got the chance to update my online journal. Gahd! I hope I won't be like this the whole year. 

I'm still working (without pay) in the Dialysis unit at certain hospital. Ten days more and I would be celebrating my 3rd month in there, not to mention my birthday too. No doubt, time flies when you enjoy what you do even if I'm broke all the time. 

I'm happy. It's not a perfect place and the people aren't either but for some reason I appreciate what I have right now. 

First, I got the chance to do what I really wanted which is caring and healing people. Did I ever mention that I take pride of what I do. There is a sense of happiness whenever I see myself wearing that white uniform.

Second, I got good friends. Really thankful that I wasn't totally stuck with a bunch of guys. I got really cool girlfriends and we share the same interests: Tin (eccentric), Leah (half-mature), Mark (innocent), Mike (quiet). They got their own story and they are really entertaining to the point that I get to indulge even with hard situations.

Then, I was blessed with really welcoming seniors and head nurse. My head nurse was kind a bisexual but he's very nice and approachable. The staff has different personalities. Some are bold (don), cautious (ej), warm (mench), intimidating (mike), cold (jen), light (mar). But all in all they are the best staff I've met so far in terms of ego level. 

Finally, I get the chance to learn a lot from the medical field to socialization. I'm taking notes from people who are more experienced than me. Yeah, I might be older than them numerically but young with experience both on nursing and the outside world. I guess this is what I get when I stuck myself in one corner of my house and spending long hours in front of the computer.

Lesson: When you get along with people you become one, when you hang out with computers you become a robot.