Ignite the Passion Manila 2014

Hello rapsville! How are you doing?

I'm ALIVE!

My legs tell me what I've done last night. They are complaining how there were abused and overused. Sorry but I'm not sorry about what I've done. In fact, I feel so proud of this pain because I got this from praising  and worshiping God. I danced, clapped, jumped and screamed my lungs out last night at Passion Manila 2014. It was an indescribable experience! God is beyond awesome.

I was alone. Don't care. I came there expecting to see Kristian Stanfill, David Crowder and Brett Younker in person for the first time. They are awesome musicians judging from their Youtube videos. Their songs are good and I like listening to them. Above all that. I anticipate something more from a usual concert experience.

From a job interview in Makati, I went to Araneta past 6pm. The venue was almost full and mostly with young people. Earlier, I was planning to get a seat at the front, unfortunately, a lot of people came earlier than me. I roamed around looking for the perfect spot where I can see the stage equally from right to left. The lower box facing the stage was indeed the spot for me.

The 2nd day of Passion Manila was a sold out. It started around passed seven o'clock. It was Kristian Stanfill who broke the ice with a very energetic God's Great Dance Floor followed by Don't Ever Stop. Never heard of the second song before, anyways, it was another song added on my playlist the next day. There was sudden shift from praise to worship with 1000 reasons and Oh Praise Him by David Crowder. This guy with the beard has some killer vocals, just saying. Next song in line was Burning With My Soul which has a very dramatic introduction which I proudly captured with my android phone. After that, the crowd got all excited hearing the opening stanza of the song One Thing Remains. Well, I can't blame them, I felt the same way, it's one of my favorites. Then, Our God closed the first half of the event proceeded with Loiue Giglio's preaching.

It's the first time I am hearing from Louie Giglio. I think he's a very entertaining man.The message centered in Luke 15 of the scripture. I was not able to take notes but trending topics in my head were Prodigal Son, Extravagant Father, Freedom Fail and Non-Dancers dancing on God's Dance Floor. I can't get over the message about the Prodigal Son because I have received this message for the second time this week! And the thing is the message was with the same context, delivery and wordings-- that the parable of the Prodigal Son isn't all about the Son but about the Extravagant Father. So I thought God is really emphasizing this to me. Honestly, this creeps me out but rest assured I got it all settled Lord. But then, there was a  continuation of the same message I received last Sunday at the Church when Pastor Louie talked about the second son. It was a short but powerful message. 

The delivery of the gospel was followed with a soulful song Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone). God's presence filled up or rather over poured the dome that moment. One of my favorite songs played was How He Loves Us by the anointed guy with the beard. The song captured the whole crowd, I really not wanted to stop singing that song. It was like an anthem. The next two song were new for me- I Am  by David Crowder and My Heart is Yours by Kristian Stanfill. Great songs.

Pastor Louie Giglio appeared on the stage one more time bringing a mash up of the sound produced by stars and whales which amazingly brought us to singing How Great is Our God. The worship continues with songs lead by Kristian Stanfill, Lord Our God and Whom Shall I Fear, then the stage blacked out. Araneta is definitely not ready to go home that moment so the crowd screamed for more. The hosts didn't disappoint playing the song, God Of This City. Singing this song, I found myself together with the whole Araneta praying for Manila. Another stage blackout and I thought it was closing time. Then, there were beam of lights and booming sound to beat of God's Great Dance Floor. It was the celebrated piece of the night with the declaration phrase of "I' am alive!". The whole Araneta including the non-dancers are jumping, moving, and dancing to the beat of the song and it's all for God's glory! 

The victory song ended but I was hopeful there is still more. This event might be finished but God isn't done with me yet. With this moving experience I had, I know God has placed seeds of wonders in my heart. I believe I am different from who I'am 2 hours before the Conference started. The event was closed at around 10:30 pm. 

I went home from Cubao to Pampanga with an overwhelming indescribable joy in my heart. 

Worn

Worn by Tenth Avenue North

I've been listening to Tenth Avenue North these past few months and I'm loving what I'm hearing. Every song has a story and it touches a lot of scenes of life. Now, here comes this song that I though I would never like. The first time I heard this I had this misconception that it's a tiring song. I didn't bother to know the story behind it. The title made me decide to stay out of it or I might get infected. Then this came, one moment when I felt like I'm losing it. I'm losing the "grip"..the "fire". Things are falling inside my walls and no one cares cause no one knows.

I'm worn. I'm tired. I want to sleep and escape reality. I think I'm no longer capable. I think I'm no longer needed. I think I'm less than what I'm suppose to be. I feel  inferior. I feel like I'm letting everyone down. With all of these, I'm letting myself down. I don't know where I dropped the passion. 

However, one thing is for sure. I don't want to stay on this pit. I'am God's princess. I'm a soldier. Soldiers get injured, treated and recuperates. Yes, I'm injured but I believe in God. The only thing that keeps me going is the faith that He is  watching over me. He never goes far, in fact, I'm the one who is drifting afar and I need to come back. He will redeem me from my troubles. 

I'll pray in the toughest hours. I believe He'll listen. 

In love and loved

Hi rapsville! How have you been?

I'm doing good. Everyday I feel so alive and I can do so much that time won't allow. I feel so light and burden free. Well, that doesn't mean I don't have any problem, I guess those were given in life. However, one thing that is far different from before is that I'm no longer focusing with the situations coming rather I focus mOre on God. I've come to a conclusion that happiness and peace don't depend on circumstances, they solely depend on God and your faith and trust on Him. I'm believe I'm a hostage of peace right now and beyond.

I'm in love and Jesus is the lover of my soul. I'm so happy I cry every time I'm reminded that God-- the creator of the beautiful sky, ocean and mountains loves me so much. I feel so valued like a prized possession. I constantly think about why now? Only now that I have known Him, for real. I've belong from  a Christian family but it is only these days that I've grown deeper and deeper in relationship to Him. Nonetheless, I'm more than grateful that it didn't took a lifetime before these things happened.

At the Prime

Hello rapsville!

Do you recognize the term "at your prime"? Well, this may sound too exaggerated by I think am at it. 

I'll be passing my resignation suppose to be this coming 25th but things got twisted and I had to render an extension until April, I think. I'm not particular when it has happened but things has changed. 

One of the main reason why I'm leaving is because of bullying. I feel hurt inside. I feel unfair. Lots of animosity. I have prayed for these feeling and I lifted them to God, several times. I prayed for the person who is causing me pain. I prayed for my decisions and my future. 

When I'm certain about quitting. One of my co-workers underwent an emergency operation and I have to give way and postpone my resignation. To add to that, the number of patients increased, not to mention my head wants me to stay dearly. For some reason, I feel a slice of happiness because I learned to love most of them including the patients and the work itself. I'm starting to fully overcome my fear of cannulation and becoming better at it. Leaving will definitely break my heart.

At the church, I'm following a lecture entitled "The Road to Damascus ". The main topic is all about the Holy Spirit. Honestly, I don't know much about Him bu through the lectures I learned a lot about Him and ever since that night I've asked Him to  lead my thoughts, actions, and words. The Holy Spirit helped me to overcome my old self big time! Praise and glory all to the God almighty!

God is answering my questions one at a time. I can see Him using people and circumstances to let me know. I feel grateful. He really loves me. He doesn't want me to see drowning in my own pain and misery. He lead my thoughts. He stops me from inflicting emotional injury to myself. He put joy and peace in my heart and mind. He made me understand that everything will depend on me and my faith. If I will constantly seek Him, I will find Him and I will remain at peace because He is peace; He is joy; He is love; He is everything I need. 

Today, I'am at my prime. I feel so blessed that I have opened by doors to Jesus. He is the reason why I feel so capable, safe and loved.  

I must admit. I was once brokenhearted but now I'm in the process of recovery and I can fully recover through Christ. God bless everybody.

A letter to My conscience

Hi rapsville!

I heard you're gonna quit your job? You sure?

I guess my conscience is asking me dearly. Yes. I will quit this awesome job I have. I will stop seeing the people I learned to love. The people who taught me how to live. The people who showed me the different meaning of life. The people who helped me meet my humanity. I felt a slight goosebumps when I wrote that but that's how I really feel. 

I feel a slight sting in my chest when I think about resigning. Well, not everything is perfect in that place, it has a lot flaws. Bullying is one. I think I'm a victim too and I can't stand it any longer. This is the main reason why I'm leaving. Second to low pay. I'm in pain I don't deserve. How can someone hurt me like this when I all I do is exert my best effort to deliver the best service I can render. Unfair, that's why I'm leaving.

I will get away with those who hurt me and will find a safe refuge with strangers. 

I'm trying to convince myself that I made the right decision. This is not only for myself. I want to do something for my family. I want to help. I want to be a significant entity like everyone expected me to be. One way to do that is to MOVE. Move far, develop independence and in the long run meet new challenges and GROW.