At the Prime

Hello rapsville!

Do you recognize the term "at your prime"? Well, this may sound too exaggerated by I think am at it. 

I'll be passing my resignation suppose to be this coming 25th but things got twisted and I had to render an extension until April, I think. I'm not particular when it has happened but things has changed. 

One of the main reason why I'm leaving is because of bullying. I feel hurt inside. I feel unfair. Lots of animosity. I have prayed for these feeling and I lifted them to God, several times. I prayed for the person who is causing me pain. I prayed for my decisions and my future. 

When I'm certain about quitting. One of my co-workers underwent an emergency operation and I have to give way and postpone my resignation. To add to that, the number of patients increased, not to mention my head wants me to stay dearly. For some reason, I feel a slice of happiness because I learned to love most of them including the patients and the work itself. I'm starting to fully overcome my fear of cannulation and becoming better at it. Leaving will definitely break my heart.

At the church, I'm following a lecture entitled "The Road to Damascus ". The main topic is all about the Holy Spirit. Honestly, I don't know much about Him bu through the lectures I learned a lot about Him and ever since that night I've asked Him to  lead my thoughts, actions, and words. The Holy Spirit helped me to overcome my old self big time! Praise and glory all to the God almighty!

God is answering my questions one at a time. I can see Him using people and circumstances to let me know. I feel grateful. He really loves me. He doesn't want me to see drowning in my own pain and misery. He lead my thoughts. He stops me from inflicting emotional injury to myself. He put joy and peace in my heart and mind. He made me understand that everything will depend on me and my faith. If I will constantly seek Him, I will find Him and I will remain at peace because He is peace; He is joy; He is love; He is everything I need. 

Today, I'am at my prime. I feel so blessed that I have opened by doors to Jesus. He is the reason why I feel so capable, safe and loved.  

I must admit. I was once brokenhearted but now I'm in the process of recovery and I can fully recover through Christ. God bless everybody.

A letter to My conscience

Hi rapsville!

I heard you're gonna quit your job? You sure?

I guess my conscience is asking me dearly. Yes. I will quit this awesome job I have. I will stop seeing the people I learned to love. The people who taught me how to live. The people who showed me the different meaning of life. The people who helped me meet my humanity. I felt a slight goosebumps when I wrote that but that's how I really feel. 

I feel a slight sting in my chest when I think about resigning. Well, not everything is perfect in that place, it has a lot flaws. Bullying is one. I think I'm a victim too and I can't stand it any longer. This is the main reason why I'm leaving. Second to low pay. I'm in pain I don't deserve. How can someone hurt me like this when I all I do is exert my best effort to deliver the best service I can render. Unfair, that's why I'm leaving.

I will get away with those who hurt me and will find a safe refuge with strangers. 

I'm trying to convince myself that I made the right decision. This is not only for myself. I want to do something for my family. I want to help. I want to be a significant entity like everyone expected me to be. One way to do that is to MOVE. Move far, develop independence and in the long run meet new challenges and GROW.