Yesterday was an ultimate bliss for me. I was surprise of the amount of attention you gave me in the midst of beautiful people surrounding us. It just felt good and refreshing.
I was on hype yesterday. Probably, I’m more comfortable in the unit as ever before but still I’m uncertain of my lifespan there. I want to set limit myself but I can’t stop from falling in love to that place.
The HD unit has a certain charisma that everyone enjoys and when it’s time to go out, people tend to break down and plead for a longer time to stay. I may not witnessed the old situations but the way my friends acted when their time to leave arrived—was excruciating. Other stories I heard were the same. I feel kind a blessed that I’m still there up till now (though I’m unsure if I am meant there for real).
I want to understand that “charisma” I’m talking about.
Is it because of the staff? The staff are really friendly and accommodating. They are fun to be with most of the time. Although there are issues beneath the smiles, I find it normal—that’s how family is.
Is it because of the nature of work? Dialysis treatment is a pure routine. Initiate. Process. Terminate. Once you mastered them all, you are good to go. The work itself isn’t demanding and tiring like with other departments. One reason why VNs go major adjustment when they got rotated to other department especially to MS wards.
Is it because of the work schedule? The Dialysis unit is open from 7am-9pm. Unlike other nursing departments it only requires an 8-hour duty. Sunday is a sure day-off.
Is it because of the patients? The patients might be demanding and choosy at times but that adds spice to the unit. The patients are treated like family and like a family they share a lot. Most often, they bring food to be shared by the staff. At times, I think that’s one reason why I’m still there cause I gotta gain serious weight.
I can’t really pin point what’s the unit’s major charisma but I can say that I’m falling to it..badly. However, there’s something inside me that stops me from bringing it in. Maybe I don’t want to indulge myself too much cause I feel guilty when I think of my friends. Maybe, I’m not yet ready to show the real me in fear of violent reactions. Maybe, I’m scared cause my position inside the unit isn’t sure yet and I might go through the same process like the old VNs who left the unit and gone big adjustments.
I don’t want to be lenient. I don’t wanna be complacent. I just want to do my part and enjoy what I’m doing. Besides, it’s not where I work but how I do things happily.
