I was able to be part of a fellowship again. After a long time, I met my Heavenly Father. It feels good and my desire to hear more of his words intensified more. It was a pure longing to learn more of his words. I guess this is where I find peace. It’s every time I’m in his presence and surrounded with people who serve Him genuinely.
I went to church today. Although at most time, my head flies out of nowhere, I still find myself headed back where I am. The geist of the Sunday service is to have a “grateful heart”. It’s not until on the last part that I absorbed the message. It was a very nice and simple message to remind me of how I’m blessed I am. I’ve been focusing with negatives rather than the bright side of things lately so the message is definitely something to ponder about.
I’ve always been terrified with IV cannulation. I know this a very different story but I need to get it out of my chest. My hand shakes whenever I do it. My heart beats fast whenever I think about it. The anticipation of me doing it freaks me out. I can’t pin point it out exactly but I think me, committing a MISTAKE is the root of all this stress.
It’s part of my job. It’s actually the main part of my job. To establish a very good access so the patient can start the procedure.
On one hand, GETTING IN brings me so much joy. How I wish I could focus much on the positive things I’m doing rather than the vein-bulging and vein-missing circumstances. I know I’m better than this. What I have to do now is to try hard to be a better me. Stop lingering with the past mistakes. It happens. Even staffs miss. You are just yet a trainee. A trainee needs training to be an ever deserving staff.
